March 2008 Archives

The Power of a Gathering

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on March 31, 2008 7:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Never underestimate the power of a group of like-minded women. The more generations represented, the better. The energy pulsates through the air. Smiles are free, and eyes twinkle brilliantly, aided by abundant candlelight.

In joy the gathering lingers a while longer. Smiles come despite themselves, offering support, strength and energy which someone is sure to need. Eyes glisten, perhaps from tears. The gathering proceeds despite the rapids and even the falls that seem to take us to a higher level.

Keep your women friends near and dear. Honor them regularly as only you will know how, for they will be with you through it all.

Who is in your gathering, your community? When was the last time you felt carried away by overwhelming abundance of support and love in Spirit?

I've experienced it spiritually in our Time for J.O.Y. retreat, and I've experienced it in the birthing community at my Bradley (tm) instructor training and at the CIMS Forum. You feel almost overwhelmed by the energy that's present. Anything is possible. The trick is when you return to the daily round. How do you carry that awareness home? How do you keep the potentiality wide open, the enthusiasm present?

Quite simply, we have to do just that. Be aware. Be present. Be enthusiastic. Just Be. If we can do that, then we are at once One with the energy we experienced and the fuel for the possibilities to come. In that state, we can be enthusiastic in our work, whether it is tending to the babe, assisting another in birth, writing a novel or cleaning the house.

Know your community and revisit often to remind yourself what really is and the power you have.

What a Body Needs

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on March 28, 2008 1:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I almost had to trick myself into writing this meditation. It has to be done. Last December, on a weekend vacation with the family, there was an indoor pool at the hotel. Swimming sounded grand, but a bathing suit sounded ridiculous. These thighs? This postpartum belly? Quickly I slipped into self-abusive thoughts that are only affirmed by the media's portrayal of what is beautiful.

Hold the phone. I know what is beautiful. A nursing babe, having the nourishment to provide her well. That in itself is a blessing. With a child's head in my lap as I stroke his/her beautiful hair, I've been told my legs are soft and make good pillows. My husband love my curves and luscious lips, and he loves gazing into my eyes. I've been told I have a beautiful smile, which I know is contagious -- airborne it even spreads to strangers.

What my body needs is appreciation. I take all of what I have for granted, to feel beautiful is easy if we can remember what a blessing it is to have food and drink and full capacity of the body we have, even if it's not traditional -- whatever that means! Who wants to be stereotypical? I like my soft legs; I just don't want to have a queen size pillow there.

My body needs a healthy diet and exercise as a token of my appreciation. I know I would be rewarded in many ways. Toned, energetic, vibrant. Why is it so much more easily said than done? I know what is good for me and what's not. One key is support. I don't need a cohort in crime. Many of my lady friends agree with me, or understand even, the chocolate passion. What I have to seek out is someone who will help me savor and enjoy moderation.

I don't want a diet and a regime. I'll avoid those like the plague. I want a heart-feeding feast, a soul-quenching menu that will indeed include a monthly truffle. I'll find an expressive, meditative activity that will boost and release energy, awakening my slumbering muscles.

I would have put on my suit and gone swimming, if I had had the courage to pack it. I am beautiful. There's just more beauty there to be tapped. Nothing a little attention and persistence can't fix.

A Special Way to Say "Thanks"

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on March 27, 2008 3:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

You can get some pretty nice cards these days, and they're even being made to look like they're hand-made. In a pinch, it's great, but when you have to show someone your most sincere gratitude, you're going to have to put some sweat into it. Not really, of course. More the mental variety.

Making things should be fun for you, or you just shouldn't do them. By all means, buy a card, dress, or whatever. I enjoy even making something following instructions or using a design as inspiration, even if it's just replication. I keep telling my kids, "It's okay if they draw the same thing you do. Feel honored they like your work enough to copy it as they grow as artists. In time, they'll develop their own technique." Granted, some of us are still copying thirty years later, but, hey, at least we're still trying. : )

A design in my Cricut (tm) Alphalicious cartridge manual inspired this card, and I really enjoyed it. I did not like the cheap cardstock that I tried to use first, but it all works out in the end.

Gather materials. I start with what I know I need then gather the rest as I go.

Use Cricut (tm) to cut matchbook card with cut-out "thank you" on Bohemian-themed paper.

Use aforementioned cheap cardstock to line the card, providing sturdiness and a nice contrast for the "thank you." I lined the back of the front and the front of the back, just using a glue stick. (Sorry for the photo quality; that's an operator error!)

A corner hole punch with a decorative design (from Stampin' Up!) provides the perfect corners for an index card cut to length to fit into. On this index card, I write my message (see photo further below).

I use some lovely SU! stamps to leave a signature on the back and to decorate the back of the front. On the inside stamping, I used a white pen (also from SU!) to pull the stamps together and highlight some of the image more.

A brad holds a flower in place to embellish the front.

Like I said, more tools come out along the way. Thankfully, everything is in the same room. When I'm finished (even if it's early in the morning), everything has to go back to its place. I wouldn't want little fingers experimenting without supervision.

My creative process begins with a visualization of what I want, and I create along the way, keeping my eye open to the whole and sensitive to the design. Soon I hope to make several cards and sell at a local shop or have an Etsy store. (Beware! Etsy's addictive!)

Be the first couple of folks to comment on this site, and I'll make you a card, too! Comment and leave me your addy. I swear I won't spam you!

Enjoy the Spring! It's my days outside that are leading me to stay up late doing this stuff at night!

Beyond Balance, To Thrive

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on March 26, 2008 9:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I've mentioned before the topic of balance, the importance of prioritizing aspects of our time and delegating it appropriately. This is necessary. What has been brought to my attention since then is the notion of thriving, going beyond being balanced, finding what it is our soul yearns for and going full speed ahead to make sure we attain what it is we most desire.

Be very aware, for this shouldn't be taken lightly. In fact, my husband's life coach was guiding him (and indirectly me, too) through the process. You have to find out what it is you truly need, what your values are, what your true interests are and which of those are what you feel your soul's calling is.

If each of us have a purpose, I like to think that discovering what it is we want to thrive for will give us a pretty good sign of what that purpose is. Maybe it's teaching art classes to children in your community, helping at a local clinic, tutoring, writing novels, opening that cafe, having a gathering center or intentional community, starting a business with your unique ideas. We all have gifts. The universe has room for and welcomes what we have to offer.

Our time is precious. Get your plan in action for how you can do what it is you dream of. You have to take care of necessities, but when it comes time to take that leap of faith, if it's meant to be, the universe will help carry you through. It's not as easy as simply finding balance (and who said that was easy?). But I'm sure the reward for the soul is manifest in more ways than one.

May we all find a way to thrive truly and thus bring fulfillment to our souls and richness to the universe. Think about the wonderful example it sets for our children, too, as they grow up knowing that dreams aren't always hokey, that even Mom trusted enough to follow at least one of her dreams. Maybe the rest will have to wait until the kids are in college . . . or have kids of their own. Be realistic. Give yourself time. Allow your soul to thrive.

* * *

I wrote this meditation last year. A year ago, let's just say we were putting all our eggs in a basket for a business that didn't take off like it was supposed to according to our plans. How often do you hear success stories from Plan A or even Plan C? Who knows what plan we're on now, but I feel great about where I am now for several reasons. Perhaps this will help you, too.

A New Earth

I know, I've mentioned it before, and I know it seems hokey . . . if you're not ready for it. Apparently I was ready for it. The realizations that I had a year ago (above meditation in mind) are reiterated in the book. It's just that in reading the book, a new level of clarity was attained for me, which is just fabulous. But I can't be attached to that. : ) Others are having similar experiences. Read on.

Purpose

The above book focuses on inner and outer purpose, your life's purpose. Everyone's inner purpose is to connect to the Divine, in whatever lingo you prefer, with your ego diminished and out of the picture. Great. Now, with the ego gone, you're more receptive to the Greater Calling. Consider your gifts and passions. How do they mix? This will lead you to your outer purpose if you're still enough to listen to that still small voice that speaks to your heart. I've been wondering about how my spirituality, connection to women, writing, mothering all work together. Well, here I am, writing almost daily on this blog I love, loving my children without owning them, and developing a role in the birth activist realm. I've published my first article to DivineCaroline. Read it here.

Thriving

God only knows the potential of the Universe. If your ego is out of the way, you are tapped into that energy. On days like yesterday and mornings like today where the wind is blowing and the sun is shining (at least most of the time), I feel like the energy overflows without and within my being. I feel like I am that conduit of Divine Love and Potential. I can't do enough to share this with others.

Work

To my husband and to many others, all I do looks like a lot of work. Looking at my lists, it looks like a lot to me, too! But I LOVE all I am doing. I feel like this is good stuff. I tend to feel guilty, like I'm having too much fun, meeting too many wonderful people, receiving too many blessings. BLAH! This is GREAT! No ego here. I'm just tapping into the wonder that is Life. Don't worry. I have bad days, too, when I don't feel the connections so strongly. But today, right now, is where I am, and now is good! Echart Tolle mentions that the outer work might look like stress, but when you're passionate, "in the zone," (you know what I'm talking about), the vigor of your work is perfectly healthy. With awareness, you know when your time comes to rest, and if you miss the clues, you wind up sick. We've all been there.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I cannot wait to see what is to come. While I cannot carry you or show you your purpose, I can inspire you to connect with the Divine. I can carry the Light, a reflection of the Light that is within you if the real you chooses to see.

Easter Success and the Rest of the Dress

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on March 25, 2008 9:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Let it suffice to say that Easter was pretty good this year, but as ever, I get another lesson on why I shouldn't wait until the last minute. The kids really enjoyed it, but, night-owl though I am, I do not enjoy staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning because of how I feel the next day. I've actually considered buying an '09 calendar and starting to fill in my commitments now as I go through these little lessons so I can at least try not to make the same mistakes again. Something about planning one year out, though, doesn't seem natural. We'll see.

You can see the eggs I dyed. (I know, I did it without the kids, but this year that was okay. At least they had real eggs to find and make deviled eggs out of. I should mention that the recipe I'm linking to isn't one I follow. Instead of vinegar and sugar, I just use sweet relish.) I dyed the eggs the old-fashioned way with food coloring, vinegar and hot water. I just followed the instructions on the food coloring box. This is not necessarily preferred because of the artificial colors that make up the dye. There are sites that have posts about using natural dyes, and I especially loved this one about making fabric eggs. I wasn't sadistic enough even to try it for this year. : )

While the eggs were boiling, I made a cake from packaged mix that my daughter had picked out. To spruce it up, I used some cherry preserves between the layers and a snazzy stencil I got from my best pal in Germany to make a bunny out of powdered sugar on top. Mini chocolate chips make for eyes and nose to carry out the Peeps theme. (I personally don't like Peeps, but we have a ton of them. I figured this was a good way to use them!)

Many thanks again and again to aforementioned best pal in Germany for supplying us with at least a week's supply of chocolates (understatement, even for the 6 of us!). I let the Easter Bunny set it all out, so the kids had quite a spread to wake up to Easter morning. Believe me, they woke up quite early.

I managed to finish the dress Easter morning since we had attending the Easter Vigil the night before. I made mistakes, but all in all, it makes for a nice dress. Daughter said she feels like Cinderella, so I figure that translates into "I like it a lot." See a few more pictures that I added on making it at the original dress post.

I hope your spring is a good one. As the sun shines, posts are going to be sporadic throughout the day. Playgroups and gardening are time sensitive! But there's always time to write and to craft!

Season for Renewal

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on March 24, 2008 7:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Coincidentally, I reach for this meditation in my "book" and find the title but not the entry. However, this first Monday after Easter presents the perfect opportunity to reflect on what renewal means . . . at least for today and at this point in my life.

I love having Merriam-Webster at my fingertips, and like a faithful friend, she offers guidance for my insight for today.

Make like new : restore to freshness, vigor, or perfection

First off, strike perfection from that list. We know better than that. I see this as the "spring cleaning" mode. Deep clean everything, clear the clutter and make way for the energy to flow through. Whether you agree with feng shui or not, energy is all around you, affected by what's in your environment. Pretend you're trying to sell your house, making it just so for potential buyers. Piles of junk (with various degrees of preciousness) have to go, and glass, pathways and mirrors need to be clear. Open the windows to let some fresh air circulate winter's stagnation. Change your air filter. Bring out your spring/summer clothes before you purchase anything. We already have an abundance. Breathe in deeply. Is your home like new? Do you feel vitality has been restored?

Make new spiritually

I don't think this means to go out and get a new religion. For Christians, Easter celebrates Christ's resurrection. We can take this anniversary to accept our shortcomings and move forward, resolved to love more fully into our baptismal vows. Consider yourself a clean slate and go forth in Love.

a: Restore to existence; b: Make extensive changes in

Have you become so bogged down with your commitments that you've forgotten who you are, what it is you want or feel called to do? Is your life just not what you want it to be, even if it seems great to others? Take a step back. Look at it for what it is. If you can't accept it, then you have to change it. Bring your true self back into the picture. Make the changes necessary for this to happen. Sometimes even the smallest changes can make the biggest difference.

Do again

Smile. Consider this your second chance. We get our life lessons over and over until we truly get it right. Some things, like household tasks, are just repetitive by nature and give us practice at doing things again and again without negativity.

Begin again

Interesting. How is this different from above? Consider "doing" and "being." I'll take this as the being, and I'll interpret this as a reminder to start with a beginner's mind in all I do. This means that I'll let go of all my assumptions, attachments and judgments and be here. When it comes time to do something, I'll be here first, then I'll do whatever it is with a clear, new mind.

Replace, replenish

The example is given as "renew water in a tank." Remember to fill your well, especially of creativity. Remember to charge your batteries by nurturing yourself; for if you are not wholly nourished, then you're not living into your full potential. Find your fountain of youth and drink from it daily. Just make sure it is truly healthful and soulful. Consider, too, that a regular balanced diet and exercise (as difficult as they may be to realize) are good all around for your physical and mental well-being.

After thorough reflection and a little nap, I feel I can look at this and make a decent action plan for renewal. The spring sun brings so much hope, warmth and promise. Life itself is abundant. May we all partake in this life joyfully, fully renewed each day.

* * *

On a similar note, for the Time for JOY women's retreat I help with for our diocese, the keynote speaker is basing her talks on Take Time for Your Life: A personal Coach's 7-Step Program for Creating the Life You Want, written by Cheryl Richardson. I just started it last night, but I think it promises to be good. Richardson is a personal/life coach, and if you don't know one or can't afford one personally, this book might help you gain insight and give you lots of practical tools if you need to make changes in your life for the better.

The Mystery of the Suffering

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on March 21, 2008 11:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Many know that today, Good Friday, is the observance of Jesus' death. This dark and solemn remembrance illuminates human frailty and betrayal of someone who ultimately accepted his fate for humanity's well-being. This day represents what the whole of Christianity is based upon. This day reminds us to sit with the humility, the shame, the dread and the loss. This blog post illustrates this day quite well.

Obviously my religious affiliation is primarily with the Christian faith, but there's so much to one's spirituality that it's unfair to restrain it to one order. I love Buddhist meditation and awareness, Muslim prayer times and pilgrimmages, Jewish observance and debates over the Torah, Hindu imagery, Native American ties to Nature . . . and that's just a surface level list of appreciation.

What I wonder, though, is if in all these traditions there is a similar time to reflect, a time to realize our failures as humanity. I'm sure there are. Along our spiritual journeys we all have those long dark nights of the soul. Without the dark, can we truly appreciate the coming Light, the Renewal? If you can stand to be with yourself, stripped of ego long enough to feel the present moment, Easter tidings, no matter what your faith, bring glory to your Soul.

Have a blessed weekend.

Simple Easter Dress

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on March 20, 2008 9:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I think it's perfectly lovely that Easter falls so close to the first of Spring this year. Nature seems to agree, with all the trees budding and the early spring flowers opening up. <deep inhale and contented sigh>

In our effort to be frugal and incorporate more handmade things into our daily round, rather than speed out and buy an easter dress for our oldest daughter, we're going to use the fabric we already have and make a nice little sundress. She already has a lovely hand-me-down top to wear over it since it's still a little chilly.

No, I don't have a pattern. Yes, I've made dresses before. Yes, I'm winging it here, but what better way to let the creativity flow?

I'm just getting started, so I'll keep adding pictures as I progress.

Like I said, we already had the fabric, washed and dried. Lucky for me, this fabric doesn't require lots of ironing! In case you're wondering, we didn't dye this fabric. It came that way. I'm also using thread I already had.

I thought up a simple design and used my daughter to guesstimate the fabric portions and make the cuts. I think I'll double the chest piece to make it a little thicker and disguise the strap ends and top of the skirt. I also think I'll add a couple more pieces to the skirt to make it more full. Who doesn't like to feel like a princess? Plus, my daughter can be active and needs lots of room to move.

I started with the straps, folding in half, sewing along one side. (I really should be using my serger, but that means switching out thread. Sounds like an afternoon task.) Anywho, turn right side out and -- voila -- nice straps. Turns out that these straps are extra long. We'll either fold them in half and give it a double-strap look or cut one in half and use the other for a bag. Time will tell.

(more to come . . . as promised)

Straps done, I pinned them to the chest piece at the places necessary. I totally just held the chest piece around her and positioned and pinned the straps. I don't know what I was thinking when I cut the length for the straps. They were almost twice as long as they needed to be. Since I used two layers of fabric for the chest piece, I inserted the straps between the layers. Right sides together (which is interesting since the fabric seems to be the same on both sides) and making sure the straps would be facing the correct way, I serged the top seam (top photo to right), using the knife to trim. Then, I turned right side out and added this decorative stitch to keep the seam from rolling. The straps were still too long, so we just safety-pinned them in place for the time being.

IMG_0180.JPG.jpg

I did cut another skirt piece to add room, and I'm glad I did. Again, I used the serger to make the seams. I am loving the serger for this! No longer am I intimidated by the threading. Wahoo! With all the skirt pieces sewn together, I gathered the top of the skirt. To do this, I used the basting and pulling method; here's an excellent video tutorial on gathering. Then I aligned it to the top and pinned and basted it in place. I removed the pins and then serged to clean up the seam. This took me a couple of tries because apparently I had gotten a little crooked.

Almost finished, I had her try it on so I could pin the hem. We both wanted it long. There's still room to let it out (both at the hem and the straps) as she grows. She'll probably outgrow the bust first, though, since it has the least amount of room to grow. I didn't feel like switching the threads on the serger, so I just did a quick sew around the skirt for the hem. Another thing I loved about this fabric is the straight lines! Obviously I'm not strict about measuring twice and cutting once!

All in all, this was a simple project and relatively quick. I ended up sewing a square over the extra strap length to keep it in place yet save it for later. I got the center of the top in the back quite off center in relation to the straps, but that's what I get for being so lax in my technique, if you can call it that. If nothing else, I hope this inspires you to try your own hand at creating an original.

Blessings!

I Died Last Night

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on March 19, 2008 9:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

After a particularly grueling day of parenting, my husband and I enjoyed several minutes of drowsy pillow conversation, quietly over the babe nursing/sleeping between us. I vented. We pondered and wondered how best to discipline, how best to exemplify the behavior we hope for them to embody. We fell asleep before any epiphanies.

I know I am dying. Sitting up in bed, I see it in my husband's face. Our younger son

lays his head across my tummy. While I've been strong up till now, as I run my hands through his unruly hair, my resolve breaks; my heart aches. I love him so much. No. I'm not ready to die yet. The bright white light comes. No. I need to see my older children first. They have to know, have to hear me tell them I love them. They're here. It's okay now.

I awoke with that sense of breathlessness near panic. I wasn't dead, no matter how real it had seemed. It was a short dream for me, one who tends to have the epic variety, but its strength and clarity remain with me still.

I'm not proficient at dream interpretation, but I've experimented enough myself and have been with others enough to know that dreams speak to us in ways we might not otherwise understand. I've been fortunate to be in groups to facilitate dream work. At a meeting recently, one of my spiritual teachers was there, too. We had been in a dream group together, and I admire her immensely. "In dream symbology, what does it mean when you die?" I asked her. "Usually it's the ego," she answered. (We could have been asking each other about the weather. It's good to have friends you can talk to without the small talk.) It clicked into place, as it will when you get your right understanding of a dream.

I had fallen asleep wondering how best to deal with my children. I must have offered my query to the Divine, for it was received and answered. To best relate to my kids, I have to get out of the way and let love lead. That doesn't mean I am a pushover and let them run wild. Kids need boundaries for what is acceptable or not, and there are consequences for inappropriate behaviors and actions. What's important, though, is that I shouldn't completely freak out just because something isn't done the way I think it should be done. These kids may come from my womb, but I believe they're designed by and for God. Heaven forbid I mess that up.

So I'm grateful for this dream that reminds me to let go and to love as if this were my last moments. It sounds so simple. The lesson is so easy. It's the homework that's hard.

The other morning, not long after my dream of dying, my husband told me that when he awoke the older kids to get ready for school, they both said the same thing. "I had the most wonderful dream." I wonder what lesson they were given. May they remember their dreams.

Tie Dye to Die for

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on March 18, 2008 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Our local Earth Scouts had a family picnic on Sunday to celebrate the coming spring and to reward the li'l scouts for their participatory work thus far in learning about human rights. Lucky for us, the weather was great for our main planned project -- tie dye t-shirts.

We have learned a lot about the process. There's this site that has an awesome instruction guide. We were given good how-to's by a friend and by the sales guy where I bought the dyes (a local place called Sydney's Emporium). The dyes aren't cheap ($4.95/ea), but good results are priceless. We were recommended (and we verify the recommendation) to use the Procion MX dyes.

The instructions on the link above are great, and below is what we did and used.

Supplies:

100% cotton shirts/tanks (the package variety but stained/recycled ones are great, too)
bucket (recycled kitter litter container)
soda ash (we got it from Sydney's, and here's a great site for info about it)
water (I just found out that if you have hard water, distilled water for the dyes is recommended. Good to know for next time.)
dyes (turquoise makes an awesome, bright blue; we were advised to use fuchsia as our red; lemon yellow; bright orange; navy; deep purple, though the turquoise and fuchsia make a deep purple)
plastic bottles with small tips (Make sure the lids are tight-fitting. Even the $1 bottles from the craft store were leaky. A friend recommended a restaurant supply store.)
rubber bands, the skinny ones
rubber gloves would prevent the week-long dyed cuticles that most of us have!
gallon zip-top baggies

Soak the shirts in soda ash water (1 c. ash to 1 gal. water -- make sure ash is dissolved) for 30 min. Ring out excess. (This water dries out your hands! Gloves would probably be good here.)

Lay shirt flat. Decide how you want to dye your shirt. Some used the bunch and tie method. My favorite was the spiral; pinch where you want the center of the spiral to be and twist. We didn't tie off as much as the printed instructions above, which is why we don't have as much white.

Applying dye is the fun (and messy) part. If doing the spiral, you apply the dye in pieces of pie shapes or an asterisk. Remember your art lessons. Primary colors (red, blue, yellow) together make brown. For us, it was good on some shirts as seen above, but it might not be your intention. This is such an experimental process, and you have to wait to see how it turns out!

After dyed, place the bundle in a large zip-top bag and let it sit . . . for 24 hours. I know. It's a long time, so keep yourself preoccupied and know that the longer it sits, the better off the dye will be.

Then, rinse with cold water. Cut the bands/strings. Keep rinsing until the water is

almost clear. The instructions say to increase the water to hot, then wash on a hot/cold cycle. We have rinsed with cold then hung to dry. Today I'll wash and hope for the best!

(The photos are from the shirts hanging to dry. If they change dramatically after washing, I'll post a follow-up.)

Have fun!

* * *

I added photos to our St. Patrick's Day craft. The kiddos had fun finding their "treasure box."

The Fine Art of Balance

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on March 17, 2008 9:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Naturally, after thinking about how I need to prioritize my life and home, I realize this morning that what I also need is balance. I cannot fully exclude anything from my life (as I join yet another Yahoo! Group) if it is indeed nourishing to me in some way. A day of t.v. and chocolate, after all, reminds me how important a day of gardening and exercise is.

Yet there are so many different levels on which to seek true balance. Of course there's the budget and housework versus playtime. The bigger topics include my time vs. family time, community work vs. home projects, career vs. leisure. The list goes on. All themes interconnect. We aren't necessarily having to draw a line over which never to cross; rather, we rest on a ball. A little too far one way or the other might send us crashing down.

How often have we wondered why there isn't a manual on how to fill our days? Sure, there are some books. Some accept holy texts as instruction manuals, and I can't help but admire their discipline and devotion. We all have the free will to see what works for us, and the truth is that what works will be as unique as each of us. As long as we are striving for balance, there always seems to be a net on either side to help us try again to get on track.

We've all known people, however, who can't seem to get back on the ball. Forgiveness may just be our strongest net, not just from others but mostly from ourselves. If you're already down, it's hard to see, hard to realize that there's something there to help. I believe that if you look deep enough within yourself, you can connect to a divine source, whatever you believe that to be. When you look deeply and sense that you can genuinely forgive yourself, feel that you are forgiven, then you've connected to a love that helps you up again.

Hopefully on our next try our priorities will be re-evaluated and a new sense of balance achieved. Life is so multi-faceted. We have choices to make, and our actions reveal who we really are, especially when we think no one is looking.

Ways to Nourish Mom!

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on March 14, 2008 11:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

After posting about prioritizing your commitments and encouraging you to actually ADD something to your list, I didn't want you to think I'm being hypocritical. We should practice what we preach, right?

I have a slew of commitments, but here are some ways I nuture myself. You can do something for yourself, too!

For the past few years, I've read Simple Abundance. It's light and motivational and has other practical, nourishing things you can do.
Journaling -- essential for everyone, especially writers.
Days outside, especially with the coming spring. My son and I discovered the crocuses bloomed in what we call our "fairy ring." (photo to right actually of our blooming friends) Even when I had pressing deadlines, apparently it was more important for the kids and me to be outdoors.
Time with other moms. Support. Need I say more?
Pretty accessories. I don't have many, but the few I have are beautiful and meaningful. A pair of earrings my daughter made was added to my collection when I returned from my trip.
Sacred spaces. Any place in my home where I spend time is converted to my sacred space. The kitchen sink, my desk, the bathroom.
Candles/Incense. The house smells dingy sometimes, thanks in part to our large indoor dog, but I enjoy beautiful smells and feel better when the house smells better.
Daily shower. Even as a mother of four, I take a daily shower as part of my 15-20 minute morning routine.

There are probably other things I do, too. All together, it sounds like I'm a selfish person, but I don't do them all at once or all on the same day.

For those of you who are so lovely as to read this, please comment with your ideas for self-care. Or, contact me if you have problems leaving comments. We can always use new ideas that don't involve buying a whole bunch of body products.

Take care of you!!

Prioritize . . . with Yourself on the List

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on March 14, 2008 11:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Easier said than done, no?

I readily agree that a mother's work is never done. We rush through the day taking care of the house and pets. We extend ourselves to the schools, communities and sometimes other careers (for motherhood is its own career). At the end of the day, once the dishwasher and washing machine are going and the last pair of socks are matched (or not), we drop exhausted onto the bed or couch, whichever is most convenient, not necessarily most desired. We wonder why our patience falters.

"We can't love others unless we first love ourselves." How can we keep giving genuinely if we let our own generosity well run dry? We have to give ourselves a break, nourish ourselves and set an example of loving behavior -- toward ourselves. It's easy, at certain times of the month in particular, to indulge in too many cookies (thanks to the Girl Scouts), get too tired, go too fast and spin our wheels unproductively. Whereas, if we pause to exercise, write, organize, make a collage -- do something! -- at least we know we've done something revitalizing.

It all goes back to prioritizing. Is how good I feel when doing something important enough to make time for me? Is having patience enough to go slowly with the children worth taking a few moments of silence each day? Yes. Is overextending myself so that I spend more time away from my family than with them worth it? This is especially hard when our involvements fall into such good causes. It's time for me to evaluate and prioritize my running list. Each woman's (and man's) list will be different, as unique as we are. It doesn't matter what our list looks like or how it reads to others. It does matter how it makes you feel and how it reflects and best encourages your natural rhythm and beauty. Don't we all feel better when we have at least some of our ducks in a row?

photo by pikaluk

Tricksy Li'l Leprechauns

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on March 13, 2008 6:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I don't intend to short-change anyone, but today's post is going to be short and sweet. I have a couple of other deadlines that have to be met today, too, and, well, life is what it is. :)

However, last night I had my 9yo daughter look through Kaboose.com (which has a nice history about St. Patrick's Day) and Family Fun to find a good St. Patty's Day craft to do. Leave it to Ol' Faithful (Family Fun) to have a great idea. We'll give this a go, and on Monday I'll post a picture of our box, where it was hid in the yard (or house, if it's raining) and the joy of the kiddos finding it. Fortunately for us, the older kids will be on Spring Break, so it will be "family fun" for all.

** added after the craft's completed **

the "treasure box"

the youngest on the right track

On the step stones, there were little flower hole punch remnants from green construction paper sprinkled along. I called these part of the leprechaun trail. The kids, however, insisted that they were leprechaun poop and after examining them, threw them down in disgust.

Naturally, the older kids take claim for finding the treasure.

Assessing the treasure -- cookies and coins for all.

On the Right Path

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on March 12, 2008 8:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I don't know how many times I've had dreams where I'm in a car and have to make detours, taking the long way around to my destination. In another dream, I get into a car and have no clue how to drive it because everything seems backwards.

Like many, I believe that in my car dreams, the car is the vehicle for the ego-self and the road my path representing where I am in life. What I've discovered is that rarely do I take the easy path in life, and quite often I feel completely out of control, unable to guide myself anywhere.

There's the rub. Control. Even standing alone it's a powerful word. I don't recall ever having a dream where I'm in a car and not worrying about which way it's going. Do I always have to drive? Wouldn't it be nice just to trust my soul, my intuition, divine guidance?

Perhaps I'm just humoring myself into thinking I'm driving my own car. I tell myself I'm making decisions, but really I haven't a clue. I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket. But then things start to happen. Synchronicities fall into place like landmarks telling me I'm on the right path. You can't help but feel that the universe wants you to continue forward. You have the support of the Universe, the ultimate energy that brings life into everything.

Accepting the gift of the Universe, or God, if you will, might mean (and usually does) that you have to let go of the wheel. You have to trust. If you close your eyes in fear, you might miss the scenery.

I'll trust fully and keep my eyes open. The colors look more vivid now, and I'm quite certain music fills the air.

* * *

photo from everystockphoto.com, taken by ellie

Clay Mama Beads

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on March 11, 2008 2:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Not the most interesting title, but true nonetheless. I've been wanting to do this since I myself got a Venus of Willendorf-inspired bead for my blessingway necklace. I realize that making the tiny beads is a true talent. Even making the bigger ones is a skill. As I've just begun, please don't take my experience as the rule. Take it as inspiration! I myself received a beautiful gift of a necklace from my roommate at the CIMS Forum. She made her beads of polymer clay. Beautiful is all I can say! Nope, she's not selling them, or I'd send you her way! If you're looking for ceramic clay beads, this looks like a good artisan site.

What I did:

Take a small wad of clay

Roll and smoosh it to get it compact.

Shape away! I also used the coil technique to add a little extra to the "belly."

I used a tool (above the coil in photo above) to cut the hole through the bead. Important to remember is that the clay shrinks about 10% when fired. If you're using a bead tree, know that your bead needs to fit on the steel rod loosely. Also, when glazing, I'll have to make sure to wax resist well so as not to get glaze round the rod/hole.

I'll dry these and fire them with the rest of the items. This will be a first, so I'll have to update you on the process/results.I'm going to have my childbirth class make some tonight while we're discussing birth. It's always good to engage the senses!

Have fun!

Time to Listen

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on March 10, 2008 11:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

As important as our time in community with supportive others is, our time alone holds answers to questions we may not have realized we had. With a quiet environment, we can hear the racket in our minds. If we sit in the outer quiet long enough, our inner quiet comes. The "stuff" that clutters our mind hushes gradually like a first grader at the beginning of class. "What will the lesson be today?" If we hush and listen patiently, what's important will reveal itself.

Perhaps our intuition will reveal itself, too, answering those questions we previously thought were beyond our comprehension. Mind-thinking becomes centered response, a much better and more mindful way of saying "gut reaction." The power and wisdom of God is accessible through us, just as it was for Buddha, Jesus and others. We're just too busy to pay attention and too caught up in our own agendas to let God's will be.

* * *

Now, interestingly enough, I originally wrote the above meditation sometime early 2006 in my journal from which I am pulling posts from time to time. Here's the really interesting bit. I spent most of last week in Orlando, FL at the Coalition for Improving Maternity Services Forum. (If you read my ACOG response post, you'll know I mentioned them before in regards to Mother-Friendly Care.) At this forum, I met amazing women, women who have spent most of their lives advocating mother-friendly care at all levels and women who are new to the effort but have dived in completely. (I suppose I consider myself one of the latter.) I spent last week surrounded by "supportive others." This is a WONDERFUL motivation for action.

Yet something happened which could have been considered unfortunate. I left the forum early to catch my flight . . . the flight that got delayed. I would have missed my connection, so I switched flights . . . to the one that got cancelled (after we were all boarded) because the co-pilot's travel time was up (or something like that). Because of the morning's weather, most flights were delayed, and Atlanta was basically crazy. I would be stuck in Atlanta's airport all night even if I did make it there. In line to get a voucher for a hotel in Orlando, a gentleman told us there were no hotels available anywhere in the surrounding area. I was getting to stay in the airport all night anyway. I must say images of The Terminal ran through my head. But what could I do? All along, I kept telling myself to just go with the flow. Believe me, there were many others expressing their anger, and negativity can be hard to resist. Perhaps it was a good thing I was tired already. Only 12 hours until my flight.

Fortunately I had my bag filled with notes from the forum, my notebook (my memory) and some books. Eating dinner of some highly nutritious Burger King, I settled to finish book one -- Cesarean Voices. (If you want to know what doctors aren't telling you about cesarean sections, READ THIS BOOK, along with Silent Knife.) Finishing and resolving to share the book, I moved on to organize my notes from the forum. Sounds easy, but there were many slide show handouts to sort and pages of notes to categorize -- tedious but necessarily helpful. Then, on to the project that lasted the rest of the night and through the next morning -- reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.

Normally, I'm not one for hype. Just because it's an Oprah Book Club book doesn't give me incentive to read it, but a recommendation from my spiritual director does. Turns out, I love the book. It voices and clarifies much of what I have experienced and feel in and about this life. Thoughts I had would be addressed in the next pages. I'm sure I'll refer to it frequently, as I received much inspiration in my night alone in the concourse, despite the constant reminder of the terrorist threat being Level Orange.

For now, I'll wrap up an otherwise long ramble to say that synchronistic events led me to have a night alone, a night of relative quiet, a night and morning of genuine insight and revelation that might have been otherwise missed or delayed. Hopefully you won't have to spend a night in the airport to get your quiet, but if it is due, apparently the Universe will go to great lengths to help you.

Blessings.

Standing for Peace When All Hell's Broken Loose

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on March 7, 2008 7:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The streets are filled with crime, the prisons overcrowded, the drugs too available and the bombs too frequent. The wails and moans get closer, the burdens too heavy.

The laundry is more dirty than clean, the dishes crowd the counter and hide the sink. A mass of papers and unopened mail cover the desk. The kids are sick and the checking account overdrawn. The refrigerator is bare, and the price of gas just went up again, just in time for the van to need a refill.

Both scenarios are very real, and I venture to say that both are images of hell. What is hell but an everpresent suffering, seemingly inescapable? Yet hell can be overcome with a heaping dose of peace grounded in love -- or perhaps it is love grounded in peace. Undoubtedly the two are so intertwined it matters little. Before the moans become our own and our vision clouded by the fog of negativity, we have to utter words of love, evoke a sense of peace and see the Light present in all.

How many times has great suffering brought about great realizations, great triumphs and understandings? If you cannot find one example, perhaps you haven't thought long enough or listened closely enough. Perhaps you just missed it altogether. Not to worry. Just brace yourself since it will come again.

I do not mean to over-simplify. There is a suffering in the world that I have not and probably cannot fathom. The genocide in Darfur, the plight of refugees, the millions of homeless and hungry. I do believe in the power of the collective, though. One positive thought attracts more, light attracts light, and if we all were to focus and/or pray on peace and contentment, wouldn't the world be different?

Quite obviously, we all have difficult lessons to learn, obstacles to overcome. We haven't learned how to love one another with our whole heart. Whether at the market or in the home, in our hometown or in a different country, we have to be able to stand for and in peace if we are to improve ourselves, our kids and our humanity. This is hard; at least, it is when you're not used to it. It's like how they say to frown takes more muscles than to smile. Really, it takes less energy to love someone than it does to harbor animosity, anger or fear towards them.

It helps to have support, to surround yourselves with others in a unified effort. It isn't a bad thing to stand for peace when it seems all hell has broken loose. You are embodying the change you wish to see. You cannot force peace with brutality any more than you can clean the house by bringing in more dirt and grime.

"Be the change you wish to see," said Gandhi and one of my bumper stickers. Be the peace you wish to see. Start at home or start in the public. It may actually be harder to be truly peaceful to those you love most -- it was and is for me. I am a work in progress. I get my glimpses of hell, feel the suffering and have to remember I can still breathe into the Spirit. I still have hope, and I can stand for peace here and now.

Homemade Snow-Day Cocoa

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on March 6, 2008 7:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

After realizing that traditional store-bought hot cocoa mixes include partially hydrogenated funk, I set out to perfect my own mix . . . without a cookbook. So without even a Google search, I think I have managed to make a cocoa like I remember my grandma's tasting -- smooth, warm and yummy.

In an effort to help you feel like you're finding your own mix, I'll suggest this vaguely.

Cocoa powder (I got the organic variety.) -- I used roughly 1 tablespoon
Sugar (organic) -- about twice as much as the cocoa
Milk (organic), heated -- to fill the cup

That's it. An organic hot cocoa. I cheated and used the microwave. It would be better to just heat the milk on the stove, but the kids were waiting . . . impatiently.

Fill cup halfway with milk.
Add cocoa and sugar. Stir well.
Fill with milk. Stir again.

Now, I have yet to find organic marshmallows, and probably for good reason! But our family is addicted, so we top with the 'mallows. We only had the large variety, so I cut them into quarters. (After watching a child choke on a large one, I second the warning to make sure small children don't eat them whole. No one likes to perform the Heimlich!)

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This made a darn near perfect cup of cocoa, if I do say so myself. Now, go fix some for yourself. You know you want to. :)

Maternal Connection

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on March 5, 2008 7:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

None of us can deny the fact that we come from a mother, at least a mother's egg. Some broaden their family by magnitudes and claim a mother country, while others open even more to say we're all children of God (some even claim God as Mother).

Personally, I enjoy my relationship with my mom, though we don't get to see each other often enough. What's more, I love learning about her history since it plays such a role in who I am, issues I have to work through -- good and bad. I love hearing about her mother and grandmother. These women, too, are part of my being.

While I'd love to know more about my family history, I don't have the time for genealogy. What I do have are relatives from whom I can learn. I loved my grandfathers' stories that all shared a thread of hard work, simple pleasures, risky adventures and wise advice. My grandmothers' stories continue to relay a life of experience, how to make the best of what you have, caring for one's self yet bestowing upon many others unconditional love. I listen with fascination and wonder if I will have grandchildren someday attentively listening to my stories. Will I have obstacles overcome with determination and skill? Will I have adventure? What lessons will I have to pass on if they are wise enough to ask and to learn through me? Only time will tell.

We all have mothers to learn from, even if they're not biological. Maternal figures in our lives come in more ways than one. We have much to learn from them even as we go our own ways, and then another generation awaits, looking to us.

When I stand in my utility room, I see not a curtain in the window but my great-aunt's apron. For some reason, it gives me strength and comfort the way the sun shines through the thin fabric made even more thread-bare from years of use. My daughter knows it's an apron, too. Perhaps someday she will feel its strength and comfort, but probably not until she's learned many stories and consciously tapped into the great maternal connection.

Morning at the Wheel

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on March 4, 2008 10:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Normally, you find me slinging clay late at night, after the kids are asleep. Since today's a snow day, our schedule is all askew, and with hubby at hand to snap photos, I can relay my pottery craft. I call it "craft" because I don't know enough to consider it my art. I don't mix the clay or understand the minerals of it, and I am terribly inefficient. I took a wheel class, but I haven't studied or perfected the technique behind it; it's on my list of things to do. Right now, I'm helping keep our local pottery shop in business and enjoying the learning process.

We are blessed to have an electric wheel (a Shimpo) and a nice electric kiln (Skutt). I am blessed to have a husband that doesn't mind spending our retirement money on hobbies. If we're lucky, maybe selling the pottery in our retirement age will get us by. :)

So, this morning, I make a mess, and here's how I do it. If you're looking for a detailed how-to, I can suggest a simple book, but I recommend taking a class. Pottery is very hands-on, and you just have to do it to get it.

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Thumbnail image for cut clay.JPG

Cut the clay off the block. Already, I've got my tools and bucket of water by the wheel. Then, "wake" the clay. Oversimplified, this compacts it.

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Center it on the wheel, using high speed. (This exercise tests your awareness and breathing, actually quite a good morning experience, but that's for another post