Everyday Simple

Some say that the more you focus on something, the more you make it so.  Put out to the Universe that your life is abundantly blessed, and you attract abundance.  So, with all the waves being full of talk of the US economic crisis, are we making it worse each time we hear the rising unemployment rate, the 50,000-job cut, the Congressional bail-out debates, the credit crunch, etc., etc.?

For many families, I'm sure it's simply another day in the life.  I know for my family, it's a weekly challenge to figure out how to make sure all the bills are paid on time.  At least we have the means to pay them (mostly) on time.  But some days you wonder.  Some days you feel more a part of those who live with heavier burdens that you are used to carrying.

Some days you're told you need a new heat and air unit.  Some days the car doesn't start.  Some days you live with the fact that you can't afford what you would honestly, truthfully like to have, even if what you want is to send your child to preschool.  You might even learn that you don't have as much in assets as what you thought you had because of the state of the market.

We learn to make sacrifices.  We learn to make adjustments, some of which are harder than others.  Some of us are slow learners and keep getting the homework sent back to do over and over again.  One of these days, surely, we'll get it right.

Time to focus on our true and real blessings in this season of Thanks, and perhaps it's time to start giving more.

Actually, the title should say "Much Needed Mommy Me Time." 

Once we become mothers, our identity as an individual woman is lost.  Birth is greater than bringing a new life to the world, as huge as that is.  Birth also ushers in our motherhood, full force.  We agree to be responsible for growing a body and nurturing a soul and may consent to continue to nurture said being for the rest of our living days.  So here I am, in the thick of "nurturing" and realizing that I need to take care of myself so I can better care for those who depend upon me (a recurring theme, I know).

Part of my care includes recognizing myself as a woman.  My needs are not only the needs of the family.  To keep my life in perspective, I have to carefully evaluate what I need to feel like I'm fully living my purpose.  Not everyone feels this way, and it's important to know what your personal needs are.

A friend of mine and I are doing a baby-sitting swap.  For frugal mothers (whether of desire or necessity) who seek their alone time, this is solid gold.  It's giving and receiving.  Today I got to go to the library and browse in the upstairs section.  It doesn't matter that we were at the library yesterday.  I can't remember when last I checked a book out for myself.  After the library, I went to a local bookstore.  It was time to buy an '09 calendar, and they had some beautiful ones.  Not every time for me includes an expense, but it is a reward to myself for all the work I put into this family-rearing that justifies my purchases when I make them.  (Hope you agree, dear.)  ;)

Now this evening we enjoy our church's meal before the service (trans: "I don't have to cook").  After the short, kid-friendly/chaotic service, I facilitate a women's spirituality circle.  The church provides a nursery.

I know it doesn't always take a village to raise a child, but I'm a firm believer that it helps greatly.  If nothing else, it makes for better mothers.

(photos coming soon)

This is my first felting experiment.  Truth be told, it is also the first time I'm actually knitting from a pattern.  It has been a good experience thus far.

The funny thing is, I still don't know what I'm doing!  I hope that the felting will disguise the fact that one slipper has a "wrong side" out.  It was the first one I did.  I don't recall doing the second one any different, but isn't that the way with crafts?  Sometimes they take on a life of their own.

These purple gems will go to our youngest as a Christmas gift, the first to be checked off the ever growing list!

If you're interested in where I got the pattern from, the book is called Knit It! Felt It!, published by House of White Birches (which invokes a lovely image, I must say).  It's the Child's Footies pattern on p.64.

I'm not sure I'll have them felted by Thursday, but the good news is that the dishes are done so that the sink is available!

Ten years ago yesterday, my husband and I went to our 37-week check up to find out that we were going to the hospital to be induced due to pre-eclampsia.  I was huge and swollen but felt fine.  I wouldn't be going back to class, though.  (I was still in college at the time.)

Ten years ago this evening, around 7:45 to be more accurate, our baby girl was born in the hospital, and I morphed from a pregnant mama into a mom -- drugged, clueless, bewildered.  I had just done the hardest thing ever, experienced the greatest pain ever, was in the hospital for the first time in my life as a bed-ridden patient, and now I was responsible for a baby I couldn't even see or care for properly.  It may be easy to understand now why I work closely with pregnant mamas and support other mothers.

I teach Bradley classes to help all who want to be healthy and know about the process, all who don't want to walk into their birthing situations not knowing what's going on.  I serve as a doula selfishly because it is a window into a sacrament of life, in my opinion, but I also sacrifice my time to help others have a more calm, peaceful, empowered birth.  I hope to advocate for mothers, to help them when they feel they need it.  In my ten years as a mother, I have learned these things can make all the difference.  All these things help mothers in their role, in their lives.

Being pregnant and mothering is not always easy.  It's hard, frustrating and exhillarating all in a day, with windows of peace of calm (and not always just when the kids are sleeping, though that helps).  Time is our best teacher.  We cannot always go up to a woman and tell her the things that will make her "job" as mother easier.  I don't know that I would have listened and heeded such advice.  Many of us have to experience it for ourselves, learn in our own time.

So on this, my daughter's tenth birthday, I also celebrate the anniversary of my motherhood and revel in all the lessons I've learned along the way, a few of which I share on this blog, most of which I've either internalized or will experience again and again until at last I truly learn what it is I need to know.  I'll always be learning.  Whether we have one child or four (or heaven help you if you have more!), we will never fully know or understand everything.

As I kiss the kids good-night I always wish them peace and love and hope that when it's their turn to be parents, they will know more than I.  We do the best we can with what we have, which may sound cliche, but it's true.

We didn't plan the timing of our first child, whose birth was also induced, but maybe that's what I needed to become the mother I am.  Maybe I needed the divine intervention because Lord knows if I knew what I would be getting into, I may not have been humble enough to choose this route!

Blessings and gratitude to my eldest child and to all us mothers who should celebrate our motherhood daily if for nothing else than for the fact that we are doing our best.  The rest is out of our hands.  Here's to the decades to come.

*Cheers!*
 

Finally, I see where all the fall colors come from.  So often each tree changes to its one color, then the leaves drop and become the brown, crunchy mass.  This past week, I've seen trees in all shades, from blazing orange to fiery red to brilliant gold.  Yesterday I even saw one of the most beautiful fall maples with shades from green to yellow and red to orange.  If I hadn't been driving, I think I would have stopped to bask in its brilliance.

There's no doubt we're in the midst of fall now; the leaves are quickly dropping, the nights are cold, the holiday goods are out in all the stores, and the lights being put all around the square.  Now I figure is a good time to be honest with myself and take a good look at where I am, who I am, what I'm doing and where I'm going.  I should have done this on my birthday, but I was too busy doing.  I'm getting signs that now would be a good time.  (I share this with you not to boast or brag or complain out loud but rather to encourage you to take time to do the same for yourself at some point.)

I ground myself in my writing.  To write, I must be still so as to receive the truth that is being channeled through me.  I have to be careful about my influences, for everything in my environment affects how I interpret any given moment.  When writing, I feel my closest connection to the Divine and feel that this is my right livelihood.  Going forward, I make a conscious effort to write more daily, be a productive writer and establish myself as such.

I craft to disperse the creative energy in a physical, practical way.  Perhaps if I channeled all my creative energy into writing, I wouldn't need to write more, but I enjoy greatly using my goods, giving handmade gifts and teaching the children how to make thin  Now I will increase my skills with what I have and make what I need or need to give.  I would like to make a few things well to sell in an Etsy shop.  That would be nice.

My relationships with others I feel has always been golden.  I do my best to be authentic with them, to listen well and to be participatory.  With my children and husband, I have to make a conscious effort to love myself well so that I may love them wholly.  We are currently seeking a family counselor so as to address our needs, for raising kids is harder than we ever imagined it could be.  We need some help, and asking for help is completely okay.  It's better to ask for help than to sink into despair, withdrawing from yourself and others.  May we be always honest, loving and respectful of ourselves and each other.

In the daily round, I am pleased with where my expectations are.  I've come a long way in understanding what I can and cannot do, steering myself away from the buckets of shoulds.  That's not to say I don't occasionally regress.  In a given day, like all mothers, I combine all my different roles.  I am at once a writer, wife, mother, spiritual seeker and birth advocate and educator/doula.  I'm sure that's probably not even all aspects of my being, but they affect most of what I do, day in and day out.

As with the leaves, I am constantly changing.  Where I am today differs from yesterday and tomorrow, but if I can hear what I need from and for my soul, then I can visualize it and try my best to make it manifest.  To do so, I need some quiet, some time for me.  Thanks, Casey, for giving me that time yesterday when I needed it so badly.  Thanks, Kaye, for listening.

One of my fave craft sites is using November as a month of handmade gift ideas, and they have great giveaways.  Check out Sew, Mama, Sew to see for yourself and find some truly creative ideas.

As I try to catch up some on my Google Reader, I also found some other truly craft-genius ideas.  Don't miss what Instructables has to offer (my hubby adorned the laptop with one of their stickers from the Maker Faire), especially if you'd like some tips on your Turkey-day meal.

And then I found SouleMama.  Do go there.  It's an inspiration to me.  She seems lovely, writes beautifully and is about to have a baby any day.  She also has a book and some patterns that would make some beautiful gifts.  A good find for the day . . . now back to the children.

Blessings.

On the radio today I heard two African American mothers suggest that their son could be the next president; one of the sons actually made the suggestion that he could be president.  Perhaps this is part of the hope and change that Obama seeks to revitalize in the USA.

No matter which side you voted for, we have to trust that our nation will move forward, that as a people we can join together, agreeing to disagree on some points, compromising on most others.  Personally, I believe that if we are to make things better for our children, we have to embrace a paradigm shift.  We have to leave our "look out for No. 1" mentality behind and take the "servant-leader" role.  We have to learn how to lead and live with compassion, with awareness and consciousness.  We have to make our homes safe, help people find a right livelihood and genuinely take care of one another.

Do thoughts like these increase the profit margins?  Will it guarantee that we'll be able to buy all the best and newest things out there?  No, but do we need those things anyway?

If we can take off the layers of messages we receive from corporate media, the layers of expectations built upon us from issues of the past and set forth with a new dream, who knows what can happen.

As Obama did, we can try.  Hope.  Change.  And in the sing-song of Disney's Pixar Robinsons, "Keep moving forward!"

Martin Luther King, Jr., proudly said he had a dream.  He dared to share his dream.  Look what he sacrificed.  Look how far we've come.

What do you dare to dream?

No matter what your political persuasion, I hope everyone took time to vote today.  I got in my ballot last week, sans children, though it's a great idea to get your kids involved, too.  It might also be worthwhile to document your feelings on this "landmark election" for its "historical" value (as all the talk keeps saying).  Truly, your grandchildren might ask you about it 50 years from now.

Not as pressing as voting, but perhaps of great importance to those little ones expecting surprises in upcoming months are those holiday gifts.  Ah, yes.  I said I wouldn't put it off this year, and I did it anyway.  My husband said we are not glazing on Christmas Eve this year, and I do not intend to be working those last stitches Christmas day on whatever knitting project I end with!  So, now's the time to finalize our list.

You better believe the only items we'll be buying are basic supplies.  No pre-packaged retail gifts, except maybe books.  If you need some ideas, here are a sampling of ours.

• Scarves -- sewn or knit
• Slippers -- felted (if I can learn in time!)
• Pottery -- various hopefully practical items
• Hats -- knit
• Gift boxes -- paper/cardboard; sometimes the packaging is part of the gift, too

If you don't have time to make your own goods, remember the importance of buying local, supporting work-at-home moms, buying handmade and being as eco-friendly as possible.  "Google" any of those topics if you want a slew of information.  If you choose the "recycling" route, make sure it's not tacky and will be okay in the situation.  A good friend of mine does not appreciate that her children's gifts are garage sale finds when everyone else gets a packaged new item.

Enjoy being thoughtfully creative.  The love and care you put into a gift is as much a blessing to the receiver as the gift itself, if not more so.

I can't help but have the Beatle's song going through my head today because it is, in fact, my birthday.  :)  I have no vanity about it being only my day of birth, so I'm willing to share the joy with all the other brilliant Scorpios out there.

The reality of it is that this day is like any other, for the laundry doesn't wash itself, nor the dishes.  The sick child will need to be held all day, and I'll keep hoping that my remaining milk is helping her eyes and that we all won't get whatever she has.  The deadlines remain, and I'll have to clean the house yet again to restore it to the beauty it was before much of the family came over.

The blessing of this day, however, is that the stars have been aligning, and my dreams have been potent.  I consider birthdays personalized New Year's, so I have a chance to begin anew on resolutions fallen by the wayside.  Today I will be gentle with myself, encouraging, nurturing, and today my husband tells me he has a surprise in store.  Today is unlike most days in that on this day several years ago, my spirit entered this world fully into this body.  Hopefully each day I come closer to realizing my purpose, finding my calling, fulfilling God's will.

Thank you, mom, for birthing me.  Thank you, family, for the love and gifts.  Thank you, Mother Nature, for the beautiful autumn colors that have remarkably lingered into November.  This weekend was a beautiful Indian Summer.

May we carry a bit of the magic and love of birth into every day of our lives.

My oldest daughter couldn't be more excited about tonight's festivities.  It's her first Halloween out from under Mom and Dad's thumb (though she'll still be with other parents).  Tonight she's out with her friends, and I am truly happy for her.  Thank God I know she has good friends!

While she'll be out, we'll still have the younger three to take trick-or-treating.  Whether we go around the block or to visit the grandparents, we're still not sure, but it will be low key for certain.  The less candy in the house, the better off we all are.

Truth be told, this weekend I have marked in my calendar as "GARAGE WEEKEND."  We have to get a handle on things . . . or at least a path through it all.  With the holidays creeping ever closer and much pottery to be made, the garage needs to transform into a clay studio rather quickly.  And, we just need to organize, put things where they go, make work areas usable, create storage.  Simple stuff, really; it's the time you have to take to do it.  It also isn't a one woman job, but getting my husband and myself in the same place at the same time while we're both awake is as tricky as ever.

When we're supposed to be knee deep in the garage on Saturday, it turns out the kids have choir practice until eleven or so, a children's author will be at the library at eleven, there's a concert we want to support (and is free) at the botanical garden at two, and we have to eat sometime without ordering out (gotta tighten the budget belt).  Sunday is family birthday celebration all afternoon after church, after which we go back to church for the choir performance for which I've been shuttling kids to rehearsal these past couple of weeks on my precious weekends -- as if my time is mine.

Therein lies a Truth in parenthood.  We make sacrifices every day.  We wade through the garage for years because it's more important to have clean dishes and laundry than a proper place for the bikes . . . or is it?  We make choices on what we will sacrifice.  Some days we make good ones, but most days we just make choices, knowing we will live with the consequences. 

Perhaps that's why we (okay, I) get so aggravated with the kids when they choose to do what they want to do even though I know the consequences won't be good.  (i.e. any given child doesn't want to clean his/her room and put away clothes today, and I know that in three days, it will be exponentially worse.)  We make our choices, pick our battles, and go through the motions of every day.  Hopefully it can be more of a dance, even if some days it feels more like a factory.

It would be nice if I felt more like a ballerina than a robot on Halloween.  Right now I feel like I could pass as a maid -- and not the sexy sort!